In our fast-paced and busy lives, expressing love often falls by the wayside. We forget to give a spontaneous gift, linger in the embrace, or write an “I love you” note. When we do make an effort to show we care, our loving gesture–whether we took out the garbage or simply listened to our partner– may go unappreciated or unnoticed.
You may be wondering:
How can I express my love in a way my partner will appreciate and understand?
The answer is simple.
You need to learn your partner’s love language.
What are the five love languages?
The term “love language” was coined by marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman. In his book, The Five Love Languages, Dr. Chapman writes that there are five ways people communicate love.
1) Words of affirmation
Many couples express their love by compliments or words that build up their partner, such as:
“You look beautiful in that dress,” or “You always know how to cheer me up after a rough day.”
If this is your partner’s love language, you may receive several “love you” or “thinking about you” texts.
2) Quality time
Your partner may express love by giving you their undivided attention, without the distraction of TV or cell phones.
Your partner’s preferred activity may be simply spending time together, going for a walk or having a real face-to-face conversation.
3) Receiving gifts
Love is all about giving to the other.
In this love language, visible symbols of love speak the loudest.
Gifts don’t have to be expensive. Even small tokens make the statement “I’m thinking of you” and “I care about you.”
4) Acts of service
Actions can speak louder than words.
Favors such as cooking a meal, changing the baby’s diaper, picking up the groceries, and vacuuming the bedroom require planning, thought, and energy. If you do these acts with a positive attitude, they can also be a way to express love.
5) Physical touch
A kiss on the cheek and a gentle caress are powerful ways to convey love. For some people, physical touch is their primary love language. Without it, they feel unloved.
If this is your partner’s love language, touching your partner when you walk through the room or giving a quick hug before you leave the house could speak volumes to your loved one.
Why should I learn my partner’s love language?
You and your partner may naturally gravitate towards the same way of showing affection. But chances are, you and your partner speak different love languages.
This is not a bad sign. Just like couples have different tastes in food and different personality traits, couples may also express and feel love differently.
Learning your partner’s love language will allow you to communicate your love in a way that your partner understands. This can minimize misunderstanding and ensure you both feel happy, loved, and fulfilled in your relationship.
Improve your relationship
Need help learning your partner’s love language?
Couples counseling with Jennifer can help you and your partner express love in a way that you both appreciate. Through sessions with Jennifer, you can learn how to improve communication, strengthen your bond, and rekindle the love in your relationship.
Call now for a complimentary consultation, or just fill out the contact form and click Send.