In honor of mental health month, I want to write about taking care of yourself while caring for others. As we understand more about what we need, mental health experts have termed a condition called compassion fatigue to describe what can happen if we do not take care of ourselves while we care for others.
When we care for others, we often forget that what we are doing takes it’s toll mentally, emotionally, and physically. When we care for others in a physical or mental health capacity, we can suffer burnout. This can happen outside a professional context, researchers have shown that caring or an ill family member can also put us at risk for burnout.
What is compassion fatigue?
Compassion fatigue is a “deep physical and emotional exhaustion” that comes from taking care of other people. It is the emotional impact of dealing with the strain of those who are suffering and need help. When we are caring for others, we can be exposed vicariously to trauma, fear, and pain. Over time our resilience can begin to break down and we can develop compassion fatigue. Symptoms of compassion burnout include:
- emotional exhaustion
- reduced sense of meaning in work
- reduced sense of personal accomplishment
- physical and mental exhaustion
- a desire for isolation or decreased interactions with others
- feeling unusually irritable and depressed
- reduced appetite
- depersonalization — a sense of disconnection from real causes
- physical symptoms such as lowered immunity and getting ill more often
Difference between compassion fatigue and burnout
Compassion fatigue differs from burnout. Burnout is a result of physical exhaustion and cumulative effects of overwhelming workload. Compassion fatigue is more emotional in nature and is due to a cumulative level of exposure to vicarious trauma.
Journalists can also suffer from compassion fatigue due to their exposure to the effects of war, terrorist attacks or natural disasters. In practicing empathy towards those affected dealing with stressful situations consistently can lead to compassion fatigue.
Self-care protects from compassion fatigue
There are several things you can do to protect yourself from compassion fatigue. Below are a few tips to incorporate into your life.
Ask for help if you need it
If you need help with an everyday task or with the actual caring for others (such as with an ill family member) drop the guilt and reach out for assistance. Something as simple as hiring someone to clean for you or do your shopping can make a big difference in lifting the load. If you are beginning to experiencing a sense of overwhelm, understand that easing your own burden will help those you are caring for as it gives you the ability to maintain your own health.
Consider working with a therapist
It is essential the caregiver is cared for. Even when you are taking care of others you need to prioritize your own wellbeing. It may be helpful to speak to a therapist if you are in need of care. Working with the right therapist can provide empathetic connection . with someone who is focused only on you. Therapy can also teach you valuable coping skills that you can apply to other areas in life.
If you are having a hard time thinking of yourself as in need of care, think of self-care as a necessary preventative measure in order to prevent burnout or compassion fatigue.
Make time for what’s important to you
When you are caring for others, you may forget about the importance of things that make you happy. Studies show 40% to 70% of caregivers develop depression. These numbers indicate a very high risk, but knowing about the risk can bring us to take preventative measures. Understand that self-care is not a luxury, it is a requirement for good mental and emotional health.
Focusing solely on caring for others to the exclusion of taking time out to nurture yourself does not allow you to recover from the demands of care of exposure to trauma. This of rest, relaxation and joy as a way of refilling your reservoir of emotional resilience.
Find ways to bring joy and laughter into your life
Make a real effort to get together with friends and/or family whose company you enjoy. A fun night out or seeing an uplifting movie can take you away from the concerns of caring for others. Find a way to do what you enjoy and give yourself an emotional break.
Jennifer Lauren Arceneaux, LMFT is a licensed Psychotherapist and Marriage and Family Therapist.
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