If you are wondering if someone close to you is a narcissist, it may be worthwhile to do some research that can bring you clarity and guide you in a way that will allow you to identify and protect yourself from a narcissist.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is understood as a pervasive pattern that occurs when a person holds ideas of grandiosity, the need for admiration, hypersensitivity, and a lack of empathy for others. It is important to understand that NPD exists on a continuum and there is a wide range of how traits are manifested. A person can score high on one trait while not displaying other traits at all. When you read over a checklist of symptoms, consider these only as a guide.
Signs of narcissistic personality disorder
- Exaggerated sense of self-importance
- Sense of entitlement
- Need of admiration
- Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements
- Preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, or beauty of the perfect mate
- Insist on having the best of everything
- Monopolizing conversations
- Taking advantage of others to get what they want
- Inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
I see many clients in my practice who are struggling with a partner who may be a narcissist, below are a list of some of the traits you may see.
Your partner may have narcissistic personality if he or she:
- Seems cold or unfeeling when confronted with your feelings or has difficulty understanding others feelings
- Talks about his or her life or accomplishments in an exaggerated or larger than life way.
- Believes he or she is entitled to special treatment
- Is able to hand out criticism easily but has a hard time hearing even the slightest negative feedback
- Is frequently jealous of your friendships, other relationships, or opportunities
- Regularly lies or gives you inconsistent information
- Is vain or self-absorbed
- Finds it difficult to be alone
- Tunes out when you are talking, allows him or herself to get distracted
Some interesting statistics
Research into the prevalence correlates, disability and comorbidity of NPD have indicated up to 6.2 percent of people in the USA have Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Rates are higher for men (7.7%) than women (4.8%). People with NPD have higher rates of other disorders such as substance abuse, mood, and anxiety disorders as well as other personality disorders.
An important note about adolescents
Adolescents often display narcissistic traits but most do not go on to develop NPD. Developmental researchers understand that narcissistic vulnerability is a normal and pathological narcissism in adolescence. Normal adolescent development includes a partial disengagement from parents and an increased focus on themselves and their peers. Adolescents can be more self-conscious, this is a part of development as they mature into adulthood.
Protect yourself first with understanding
If you are involved with someone who displays narcissistic traits, your first step to protecting yourself is to understand what you are dealing with and then take steps to protect yourself. You are allowed to walk away from relationships that are abusive, you may also simply need to take steps to protect yourself emotionally. Not all narcissists are bad enough to walk away from, particularly if this person is someone you love such as a parent or child.
Therapy can help you sort out your experience with an objective and supportive therapist who understands NPD. It is important to seek out support so you can take care of yourself and lead a healthy life.
Jennifer Lauren Counseling
Jennifer Lauren Arceneaux, LMFT is a licensed Psychotherapist and Marriage and Family Therapist. She provides therapy in Culver City, California to couples, families, and individuals. If you would like to learn more, call and book your first appointment or fill out the contact form and click Send.